Toilet humor

         For some reason, jokes and comments about toilets or toileting very seldom go by without a smile and far be it from me to pass up the chance to share a smile.

          Day twenty-four “Jitters“, of my non-fattening advent calendar in 2012 played on just that idea, I’d spent a good part of December wandering around with my three Christmas teddies, “Grampy Santa and Friends” and taking photos of them in everyday,  normal places, then I had posted the pictures one day at a time leading up to Christmas.

          When it came to finding a picture for Christmas eve, I decided Grampy Santa would have a touch of the “Delhi belly”, brought on by last minute nerves so I took him off to a nearby bathroom and kitchen showroom and balanced him carefully…  On the loo.

24. Last minute nerves.

          Anyway, on a slightly different note, during my usual lift home from work this morning I was chatting away with my two friends trying to decide what our supermarket could do to use the vacant plot of land next to the main building.  At the moment it is just a huge mound of earth which is very slowly turning into a grassy slope.   Apparently, the land is for future development and it was cheaper to just pile the earth on it than to pay for the earth to be taken away.

          We considered a few options but most of the shop type ideas weren’t any good as they would be counter-productive to the supermarket sales, then we hit on the idea of a hairdressers,  a beauty salon, or a gym maybe.

          A gym!  Please really?! what sensible person would even think of a gym at the end of a long night shift,  let alone consider using one so we reverted back to the much more sensible beauty salon idea.  A drive- through manicure maybe… left hand on the passenger side, right hand on the driver’s side.  

          After a few moments a little seed of toilet humor took hold and I announced from the back seat of the car that I had changed the name of my toilet.   It was no longer to be called “the Jon”,  from now on it was to be re-named Jim.  A couple of seconds of expectant silence followed until I announced my intention to get up every morning and visit the Jim before breakfast.

          I’m wondering if I should be concerned about the reactions of my two friends. On the one hand, one friend said she was waiting for the punchline simply because she didn’t think “the Jon” is how I would have addressed the “little girl’s room”. 

          On the other hand, my other friend said it didn’t even enter his head to question the fact that I would have given the toilet a name in the first place.  

Mustard tie

           … Gobbledygook …  of sorts.

Cast on 25 sts.
Row 1: k2tog,k4,wrn,k1,wrn,k4,s1,k2tog,psso,k4,wrn,k1,wrn,k4,k2tog.
Row 2: k25sts.
Repeat rows 1&2 …
Cast off 25sts.


          More from before: A little peek further into the world that I’ve “Created“.

Not holding my breath


          Well, here I am camping out at my local Costa while two different sets, of strangers admire my house.

          Were back on the market for a move to Weymouth again and I use the word “admire” very tongue in cheek as I personally wouldn’t buy it.  To be fair to myself though, I am not the market we’re aiming at.  When we look at our perspective new home,  we’re looking to just move straight in, we’re willing to pay a little extra for any work which needs doing to have already been done, oh of course, I’ll be wanting to decorate, splash a little orange or yellow here or there, but that’s about it.

           Our house now was our first step onto the housing ladder and as first time buyers, with three young girls, we needed to look for location as much as a space to live in.  We could have bought smaller, cheaper houses on the other side of town, but our house was perfectly placed for what we needed, and at a price we could just about afford. We threw everything we had at getting it, and a little that we didn’t have, there was so much needing doing to it that they practically snapped our hand off when we offered the asking price (not really knowing any better) and after a “Rollercoaster ride” of emotions, eventually it was ours.

          We moved in and immediately the boiler was condemned.  This is how things continued for many years, someone had loved the house once, this showed in the odd special touch and expensive fitting which stil remained, but it was a very long time ago and since then it had been modernised with very bad diy skills, and let out to uncaring tenants, we had a lot of work to do to make the place inhabitable,  before we could even think of home improvements.

          I remember that first winter without the central heating, we set up little electric heaters here there and everywhere, we huddled under duvets watching TV of an evening and saved as much money as we could to have heating fixed for the following winter but when the damp set in and the wallpaper threatened to abandon the walls, we called on my Dad, (which is where I get my perfectionism from) we called on my Dad to come and help.

          Mum and Dad arrived for a few days, Dad set about the pipes, wires etc ready for the plumber to just arrive and attach the last connections, and Mum set about my huge pile of ironing in an attempt to get warm.

          After that we worked our way slowly through home improvements, and I very gradually put right so many of the bad diy jobs.  The girl’s friends would very often take a tour of the house to see what I’d changed since their last visit.

          That was almost eighteen years ago, and although the imagination and the know-how are still available, I just don’t think I have the energy to start again in a house that needs much more than just a little TLC.

          Our house now would suit an investor, or a first time buyer.  It’s starting to look a little tired here and there, and there are still more improvements which could be made.

          Our two first viewings are both first time buyers.  We don’t have a pink blossom view from the bedroom window which is when I realised I was “Sold” on the house, but I’m really hoping one of our first time buyers will take the plunge while I’m sitting here drinking coffee.

          I’ve got my fingers crossed… But I’m not holding my breath.