Not yet the end


          This week I missed Alice,  I missed the smell of rabbit fur, have you ever buried your face in thick rabbit fur after said rabbit has been sitting in the rain.  It is the most wonderful smell ever, better even than warm chocolate cake.

          We have spent the past week waiting for bad news, the knowing of the news, although easier to bear than the not knowing, has not lessened the feeling of helplessness as we wait for circumstances beyond our control to make decisions to which we are unable to contribute.

          My spirits need to remain high, I need to call on the ability to hold on tightly inside and laugh and joke on the outside because that is what is needed of me and that is what I can do.

          I’ve been watching uplifting TV, one film, The Best Marigold Hotel, has one phrase in particular which I cling to.

          “Everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright,  then it is not yet the end.”

          The last hour while I waited for news, I really needed to hug Alice tightly, to burry my face in her damp fur, but Alice isn’t here, instead I picked up Pollyanna.  She coiled onto my lap and looked up at me through pre-shed glazed eyes.

           Whoever said you can’t cuddle a snake hasn’t met Pollyanna.

7 thoughts on “Not yet the end

  1. Aww, I am so sorry you’re feeling Alice’s absence so acutely. My heart goes out to you! But how wonderful that you’re finding some solace in holding Pollyanna. I suspect she greatly enjoys the warmth of your snuggling too. 🙂 Sending good thoughts your way … xx

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