The letter ‘D’

          ‘D’ is for ….

          ‘D’ is for Depression, and Downward spiral . For the self-Distruction of everything you hold Dear until life itself is not worth Doing.

          ‘D’ is for the Doubt that leaves you feeling you’re of no use to anyone, for the Desire to hide from any situation, and the feeling you have to apologise for everything again and again.

          ‘D’ is for the Dependable few who stick around, who help to keep your life ticking over while you are not capable, for the ones who look out for the slightest sign of a call for help and have their hands ready to pull you out of the Descent.

          ‘D’ is for the Doctor, and the increased Dependency on happy pills just to function on a par with normality.

          ‘D’ is for the Deterioration in mental capacity, for the Difference between the person you used to be and the person you are now.

          ‘D’ is still for the Doctor, and for her Determination not to just assume one of “those women” at “that age” is over-reacting again, and for her Decisiveness to Do more tests.

          ‘D’ is for the Discovery that there might be something physically wrong after all, and for the possibility it can be Dealt with …

          ‘D’ is the vitamin, the one made by sunshine on the skin, the one which helps to make the happy chemicals in your body.

          ‘D’ is for Diet, mine of course is Dire, and always has been.

          But ‘D’ is also for ginger person skin and migraines which cause a person to cover up and hide from the sun. (and for poetic licence which allows this paragraph to pretend it began with the letter ‘D’) .

          ‘D’ is for Deficiency, and the Discovery that a vitamin D Deficiency can cause just as much chaos in the body and mind as the hormones can.

          ‘D’ is for the giant Dose of Vitamin D supplements…

          ‘D’ is for the Difference, small and hardly noticeable at first but Definitely there.

          ‘D’ is for not having to live from Day to Day anymore, and for being able to see into the Distance.

          ‘D’ is for Doing the little things again, Doing the things most people Do without thinking.

          ‘D’ is for the hope that vitamin D will treat the cause of the Depression and not just the symptoms.

          ‘D’ is for the Decision to increase the vitamins, and to eventually try to Decrease the happy pills again, maybe when the Daffodils come out next spring.

          ‘D’ is for Daring to climb a tree, and remembering that if the little things make you happy then the big things Don’t really matter.

3 thoughts on “The letter ‘D’

  1. My friend, this is a wonderful post, for two reasons. First, the lesser reason, it is very imaginative in its concept and well delivered. But secondly, and far more importantly, this is you talking about where you are and how you’re doing, and I am simply filled with admiration for your fortitude and determination in the face of these ongoing challenges.
    But, me being silly old me (and wishing to keep up my standards, you understand), while I can’t help noticing that you’ve climbed onto that tree and evidently brought it into a Dire(!!!) state of near collapse, I’m sure that if I had made the same ascent, which is far beyond my current capabilities, said tree would already be flat on the ground, whimpering and waving a white flag … 😉😉😉

    • Thankyou… And thankyou for the silliness, it is always welcome and appreciated, although I am happy to assure you that no trees were injured in the taking of this picture.
      The climbing was Daintily done… The Descent was, however, was a little less Dignified…. But Hubby, as always, was there to catch me. 😊

      • Well, keep on keeping on, my friend, and you can always rely on me for silliness, I have unlimited quantities. But I shudder to think of your descent, tho having survived an earthquake in Nairobi I should be suitably fortified … But I shall never look at the letter D in the same way again. Just keep on keeping on. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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